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When Painkillers Fail (T​-​Lilith Archive Vol​.​1)

by Catherine Corelli

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1.
Echo Prelude 07:35
2.
I am the Wild Cat – I am the Caracal! I am the Free Cat – I am the Caracal! I am the Wild Cat – I am the Caracal! I am the Free Cat – I am the Caracal! I’ve been cute when I’ve begun Meant to be forever young Heaven knows what I’ve been through this time Been fucked up, pretended I am fine There’s no response to Sincere confidence I’ve been encaged when Wounded Eager and free till then Now I’m almost dead Avoiding your blank stare Somewhere I volt away from here Yes, I dare! I don’t care, I don’t fear Mind! I’m really a hostile free animal Wild! You, human, I hate you, I’ll make you fall Bite! I’ll tear you to pieces, you’ll hear me growl Fight! ‘cause I am the Cat you’ve locked in the stall You wanted a pet, a slave, a tamed thing To use, to make you cool and comfy Making me sick with your violating tricks Stamping and beating me down to the ground: astound I smell the Styx Now see my claws right before you Try, kill me, man You collared my throat, you covered my coat With wounds. I’m not a scapegoat I hate and feel so hated You made me irritated Come on, motherfucker, cling to your knife Fight, coward, I wanna take your life I’ve been encaged when Wounded Eager and free till then Now I’m almost dead Avoiding your blank stare Somewhere I volt away from here Yes, I dare! I don’t care, I don’t fear Self-proclaimed Lord of everything around Polluting wart don’t know why you’re so proud I’m not attached to your world so I am the moving target I’ll never obey to your word here’s a war that you started I am condamned to live! By you I am condamned to live! By you I am condamned to live! By you Instead of living a life I was meant to Fuck you! See what you’ve done Fuck you! Don’t beg for mercy Fuck you! You kill everyone Fuck you! To please yourself Is mankind… Your humanity’s Such a shit?! Weird and perverted Don’t you see… All calamities You’re worth death?! Done by you, slouch Were you condamned to live? Try that Were you condamned to live? Get that Were you condamned to live? Try that Live such a fucking a life you deserve it, bastard! Perish alive Get that I’ve been encaged when Wounded Eager and free till then Now I’m almost dead Avoiding your blank stare Somewhere I volt away from here Yes, I dare! I don’t care, I don’t fear I don’t belong to your culture I don’t believe in your cults I wasn’t born to suffer your torture In the name of your fucking god I don’t belong to your culture I don’t believe in your cults I wasn’t born to suffer your torture In the name of your fucking god Mind! I’m really a hostile free animal Wild! You, human, I hate you, I’ll make you fall Bite! I’ll tear you to pieces, you’ll hear me growl Fight! ‘cause I am the Cat you’ve locked in the stall I am the Wild Cat. I’m the Caracal I am the Free Cat. I’m the Caracal I am the Wild Cat. I’m the Caracal And don’t forget that I’m the Caracal Untamed Unnamed I’m wild Though you never mind
3.
Glamour This is a new lifestyle, the way people take other people A brilliantly vacant dope for several idiots Oh! But so fucking alluring A plastic, faceless, great big shit A drastic, soulless crap worth a spit Spreading all around, brain-fucking, useless and money bottom-lined So this is the goddamn bullshit Fuck the glamour Hey I don’t wanna hear what you say Fuck off, get outta my way For I will be forever at war With all your fucking glamour Mind illusions for a brainless idiot A profanation for a motherfucking blockhead Another dope got putrefacated A scapegoat unaware of been hated Caught in a maniacal struggle For a beautiful nothing You never knew when you swallowed! But Do you know you’re fucked up? The fraud killed you! You, torpid flesh and bones Do you think you’d be human? An individual, god or a narcissistic creep that is screeching Aren’t you tired of your bitching? Magazines read, psycho tested Shopping and sports, fame and sex, you’re rested Born to consume, to be bread, to be fed With the shit you’re fond of till you’re dead Fuck it! Now you’re a plastic dope Fuck it! Now you’re a plastic dope Fuck it! Now you’re a plastic dope Fuck it! Now you’re a plastic dope Who carved your brain? See! Here is a crowd of you, everyone looks the same Shitting and spitting around in this Bedlam Spamming god with your crap. Scam What d’you wait for, fucker Here’s the soul you forgot, cocksucker Where you comfy without it? Snapped back Worried about it? Lack Everybody now translucent, faceless Everybody now abused, but hateless Piss-tested and here for the tame Wasting everything for the fame Everyone extremely lazy Everyone goddamned and crazy Fucking themselves for the shit of the day Killing each other for money to pay Hey I don’t wanna hear what you say Fuck off, get outta my way For I will be forever at war With all your fucking glamour Give me any name, anyway I’m your Brain fuck annually, number one enemy Give me any name, anyway I’m your Brain fuck annually, number one enemy Hey I don’t wanna hear what you say Fuck off, get outta my way For I will be forever at war With all your fucking glamour You’re coward in your core: why’d you think I’m the same kind I’ve never been signed up on your side I’m watching you fucked up and ruled by the fame People are nothing all the same Motions are muted, emotions are nuded Welcome to coma, come on, you’re so common Get a 90 percentage discount Aren’t you glad, fuckers, you’re looking astound Welcome to my brand new malice Welcome to the coma-breaking war Welcome to my brand new malice Welcome to the coma-breaking war Hey I don’t wanna hear what you say Fuck off, get outta my way For I will be forever at war With all your fucking glamour Hey I don’t wanna hear what you say Fuck off, get outta my way For I will be forever at war With all your fucking glamour Fuck the glamour Fuck the glamour Fuck the glamour Fuck the glamour Man, you’d better fuck the glamour Man, you’d better fuck the glamour Man, you’d better fuck the glamour Man, you’d better fuck the glamour
4.
Don’t! Lie Don’t lie to me You don’t know what am I So why do you think That you can treat me now I can catch your breath And twist it any way I’m no compare To any lie you say Caught you when got caught, I gotta meet ya Gonna rape me, gonna make me so belied Call it love or cut it off, I need ya Gonna get you all and everything you hide Inside Inside How do you feel When you tell me you’d die for me Do something more assuring ‘cause I don’t believe Don’t lie Don’t lie to me ‘cause I know everything That’s on your mind All that is hidden there Don’t waste your time Explain me what you want Ain't any good If you don’t know yourself Caught you when got caught, I gotta meet ya Gonna rape me, gonna make me so belied Call it love or cut it off, I need ya Gonna get you all and everything you hide Hide! Inside Hide! Inside Prove you’re a man I don’t need just a cock in me Be true, become my hero Then I’ll believe I don’t know why You are still living deep in me Maybe I wait for something I want to believe You I need I need Sure I am here to believe in you Sure I am here to believe in you I need To believe in you To believe in you To believe in you To believe in you You can call me coward or selfish But I’ve got no time to explain Though I have been I’m not a teen, I’m Experienced enough to see you that plain Who am I to you? Who are you to me? In fact, we’re nothing to each other if we aren’t we We always meet the ones we deserve Every curve And twist of our destiny’s a fee for our deeds Yeah You come so prove you’re a man You come so prove you’re a man You come so prove you’re a man Make me sure, make me trust you before we began You’re here so prove you’re a man You’re here so prove you’re a man You’re here so prove you’re a man Make me sure, make me trust you before we began Show yourself whoever you are Show yourself whoever you are Don’t lie to me Don’t lie to me Don’t lie to me Don’t lie to me Don’t lie to me Don’t lie to me Don’t lie to me Don’t Don’t lie to me Don’t lie to me Don’t lie to me Don’t lie to me Don’t ever lie to me Don’t ever lie to me Don’t ever lie to me Don’t lie to me Don’t lie to me
5.
Feel before you… own Hide before I… moan Think before you… come I’m too close, I medicate I watch you slowly Transcend all the boundaries You know I feel stripped When you watch me move Too late to explain that I know where you aim You don’t suspect whom you are Going to tame Haven’t told you yet I’ve got a little secret Now it’s too late ‘Cause we’re somewhere too deep I have never felt So coward and so wicked Mind I’ve warned you Take your choice before my lip Now you face the goddess And then you feel the beast Now you face the goddess And then you feel the beast All that I’ve missed Now is aching before me A queer quintessence Of something unique We’re blind while cohesive But know what for we strive Why the hell we’ve never been so alive Haven’t told you yet I’ve got a fucking secret Now it’s too late ‘Cause we’re somewhere too deep I have never felt So bare-skinned and so wicked Mind I’ve warned you Now you think before my lip Come on now while I’m here for you Take me now ‘cause I wish you do Part of me makes you feel so high All of me now: I’m a doze that surely will make you die You know you see no other way Afraid you hesitate, but stay And so I’m withering away To some very special place where I feel so safe Take me now ‘cause I wait for you Fix me now ‘cause I’m here for you Cut this crap! Do what you wanna do If you turn your back on me now sure I’ll be lost for you Take me now ‘cause I wait for you Fix me now ‘cause I’m here for you Cut this crap! Do what you wanna do If you turn your back on me now sure I’ll be lost for you Come! Oh, just forget all of your morals now Close! What’s done is done and it doesn’t matter how Stop! Now stop to think before my lip Stop! You had enough time to think before your leap Haven’t told you yet I’ve got a fucking secret Now it’s too late ‘Cause we’re somewhere too deep I have never felt So bare-skinned and so wicked Mind I’ve warned you Now you think before my lip Come! Oh, just forget all of your morals now Close! What’s done is done and it doesn’t matter how Stop! Now stop to think before my lip Stop! You had enough time to think before your leap I haven’t told you yet, I’m not like the others I haven’t told you yet, but now it’s too late I haven’t told you yet, I’m not like the others I haven’t told you yet, but now it’s too late Mind I have warned you, mind I’ve warned you! Ready Mind I have warned you, mind I’ve warned you! Steady Mind I have warned you, mind I’ve warned you! Go Mind I have warned you, mind I’ve warned you! Stay What really matters? What makes people coward? Are we of that sort or nothing like them? We’re deaf while cohesive But still never mind So if we join Are we so fucking blind?
6.
So like in you to mention What’s written in the holy Book Do you believe in that D’ya know what’s good or bad Self-proclaimed kings of the world Shitting in the name of God Self-proclaimed kings of the world Shitting in the name of God You spread your fucking antics worldwide So now you get the war The ones that never fit you The ones who walk another way Why burn them down for that Destroy or call them mad Stand back! I’m not of your race Don’t spit in my face With sickening debates About holy popes fucking children Your propaganda’s a stealth creep I track While you utter a word and a shit behind My back. I’m giving you grotesques You’re fucking my life to get rid of my protests Mega-minus Fire-born virus I’ll be always straight out of line You can hate me Isolate me You’re my prey, I bet you’ll be mine You can’t buy me Nor deny me I’m the one you can’t cultivate All you can do Is pretend to Hold the Cross and piss. Fuck! You’re great I’m not the rotting kind Not a fuck that can rock my mind Never ever tamed Nor obtained, nor named Talk about me Speak about me The talkative motherfuckers Think that they can judge and identify me I’m not the rotting kind Not a fuck that can rock my mind Never ever tamed Nor obtained, nor named Talk about me Speak about me The talkative motherfuckers Think that they can judge and identify me I’m not the rotting kind Not a fuck that can rock my mind Never ever tamed Nor obtained, nor named Talk about me Speak about me The talkative motherfuckers Think that they can judge and identify me Hey! What’s going on Looks like a psychosomatic Attack. Cut the crap! Trap A fool for lack of me Fuck you goddamn saviors Doing me favors by blowing my brain away In order to mend me, to bend me To get me whole with my soul and fucking end me And as I slide away From your blasphemy to walk my way You’ll follow me knives out to stab Me right in my back, no doubt Mega-minus Fire-born virus I’ll be always straight out of line You can hate me Isolate me You’re my prey, I bet you’ll be mine You can’t buy me Nor deny me I’m the one you can’t cultivate All you can do Is pretend to Hold the Cross and piss. Fuck! You’re great Goddamn you raped them. Oh, fuck it all but that’s life Goddamn you raped them. Oh, fuck it all but that’s life Goddamn Goddamn Goddamn Goddamn Goddamn Goddamn God Goddamn Oh, fuck it all but that’s life Oh, fuck it all but that’s life That’s Better stop now pushin’ and pullin’ me down I’m on the top, you can’t make it a bottom Blood blackened by your damned fraud Choked any throat that inhales to spell the word God Better stop now pushin’ and pullin’ me down I’m on the top, you can’t make it a bottom Blood blackened by your damned fraud Choked any throat Spell God When Christ comes The same ones Will crucify him Unless They once guess It’s no way to take him When Christ comes You’ll load and aim your guns At him When Christ comes You’ll load and aim your guns At him When Christ comes You’ll load and aim your guns At him Are you honest, Christian? No, you’ll kill him again and again That’s how you deal with your god That’s how you deal with your god That’s how you deal with your god That’s how you deal with him Kicking and killing your god Was my tolerance my only fault? Now I can see you’re a perfect nil, I wanna make you kneel A little drop of massacre-mascara is all I’ve got A dope to survive your attack and kill you Was my tolerance my only fault? Now I can see you’re a perfect nil, I wanna make you kneel A little drop of massacre-mascara is all I’ve got A dope to survive your attack and kill you
7.
Now listen Ache… I’m on end and awake, I’m scarcely able to take A scar per mistake Fear… can’t let him hear me saying “dear”, can’t waste a tear: in here they’ll never disappear All my sentinels dead, each guard is slain in his bed Seems like I’m surrounded with murder right in my head There’s no-one no-more to cover my brains ’n’ shut up the holes in my bleak hollow veins You’ve plagued my whole life See me, I’m yet your wife Was my tolerance my only fault? Now I can see you’re a perfect nil, I wanna make you kneel A little drop of massacre-mascara is all I’ve got A dope to survive your attack and kill you Was my tolerance my only fault? Now I can see you’re a perfect nil, I wanna make you kneel A little drop of massacre-mascara is all I’ve got A dope to survive your attack and kill you Shame… you made me high and praised my name Till someone else came, and drove me sick and insane Haste… there’s not a second to waste Too much I saw and had to face in this place Damn… Don’t believe you be man after all Shit! I never knew your goddamn motherfuckers plan You played… Now all I need is first aid Your bullet hit my breast and there it stayed You’ve poisoned my whole life Damn on me ‘cause I’m your wife I will arise to see you crawl And watch the fear in your eyes Here in my home I’ll shut you down And leave you cold and alone I’ll run away: I won’t delay ‘cause I’m afraid I can stay Ear to your heart, so near the part Of me that’s fading away You’re fading away Here comes the time to pay You’re fading away Here comes the time to pay Sometimes I think I never knew you Now it feels like I’m sure to go through you I’m blanc, you’re cold, and that chills We’re the empty vessels for paradox wills You’re absolutely not controlling your shakes I’m getting hot, I’ve got a lotta fears in my brains The bottom line is I’m condemned to die And now I’m waiting to face you and read it straight in your eye Can’t ignore you, can’t enjoy you Can’t annoy you, can’t destroy you. Fuck Self-bound and blind to the world We now abandon each other and give our lives as reward I never ever thought we’d face each other this way No way I never ever thought we’ live to come to this day Last day Are we condemned to die? Are we sure we’re here to die? Explain and tell me why Explain and tell me why You’ve plagued my whole life See me, I’m yet your wife I will arise to see you crawl And watch the fear in your eyes Here in my home I’ll shut you down And leave you cold and alone I’ll run away: I won’t delay ‘Cause I’m afraid I can stay Ear to your heart, so near the part Of me that’s fading away I will arise to see you crawl And watch the fear in your eyes Here in my home I’ll shut you down And leave you cold and alone I’ll run away: I won’t delay ‘Cause I’m afraid I can stay Ear to your heart, so near the part Of me that’s fading away Can’t throw you away No matter what I say Can’t throw you away Don’t want to die today Can’t throw you away No matter what I say Can’t throw you away Don’t want you die today Don’t want you die today Don’t want you die today Don’t want you die today Don’t want you die today
8.
Show your face, tell me you will Are you here, virtual or real? Wanna know what is the deal Now are you virtual or real? Now I feel you joining My channels quivered again Now tell me what you’re enjoying Connecting makes the pain Psychosis takes hold, we cannot reload I’m feeling that cold Though I have been told and reminded You’re shallow. Oh, god, now save me from drowning You’re hollow. You echo to my thoughts, your void is sounding I don’t know d’you know that I know What I’m not meant to know So damn! I’m ready to belong But this time I’m gone You’ve got it in your eyes All the truths and lies I am mesmerized By their abyss You’ve caught me in your eye I’m in love. Am I? Hell awaits, but why? Can’t explain it I cannot tell why I’m scared and I cry You were never mine Forget! Never mind You tell me ‘bout love And all stuff. I can’t laugh Though, sure, I’d want to ‘Cause this is nothing. It’s nothing You suck my blood away You come but never stay Oh, fuck, I still obey When you draw close to me Why? I look at you for several hours And can’t release the pain. Stop! Try All of you I deny I can reveal you’re not real But something’s halting my will No! Don’t wanna see you on blow Stay! Go You’ve got it in your eyes All the truths and lies I am mesmerized By their abyss You’ve caught me in your eye I’m in love. Am I? Hell awaits, but why? I can feel it Wait. Stay. Go Stay. Wait. Go. Stop Go. Stay. Wait. No High. Blown. Fade. Go What the hell Is all this for? Fell into Circled circumstances You’re so obscure I’m so allured Reassured Helpless though you’re careless What the hell Is all this for? Damn it all Can’t stand this anymore All I can do is pretend That I don’t give a fuck where you went With whom you melted together With what you’re messed up forever But as a matter of fact In truth I don’t care ‘bout that Be blown, blow up, blow off Go Feeling so stupid I hate you Shit! I’m trying my best to abate you Burned your pics down, stern and astound Heart pumping out in the speed of a sound Pushing so loud I don’t care about you anymore I don’t care about you anymore I don’t care about you anymore I don’t care about you anymore I don’t care about you anymore I don’t care about you anymore I don’t care about you anymore I don’t care about you anymore 6, 21, 3, 11, 15, 6, 6! Go Get outta my life Go! Get your shit outta me Don’t need your sympathy You killed something pure And cured yourself by me Get away! I bet you will! Once you were So fucking real Now I know What was the deal You’re the one Who comes to kill Get away Please stay awhile, stay awhile now Once you where You were here, you were so close Now I know Real virtuality, virtual reality You’re the one How come I to believe in this No! You’re not the only one No! You’re not the one. Forgot you No! You’re not the only one No! You’re not the one. I abort you High. Blown. Fade. Go On my own. Late? No! Yes Go! Fade. Blown. High On my own. Late? No! No High… go… blown… fade Fade… blown… go… high High… go… blown… fade Fade… blown… go… high Go
9.
Nude Prelude 02:46
Oh, sh-sh-shit
10.
I swear There’s no-one over here To make me pure and clear To bring me back to life You know My blood’s too tired to flow My eyes now fail to glow And my pain I cannot show To anyone around me Now I’m scarcely able to emote Watching you all You fake-loving numb-hearts Truth is sticking somewhere in my throat ‘Cause my words will fall Straight on your deaf ears I’m on a roll Behind the veil I feel so cold and pale Can’t set the pain free, can’t take it away Drained and so frail When my painkillers fail The fakes and the lies make my whole life a decay What luck Each time I love I’m struck My sincerity sucks But no-one gives a fuck And yet Disabled to lament My soul I can’t forget Can’t be a dope instead I cling to dreams of true love Now I’m scarcely able to emote Watching you all You fake-loving numb-hearts Truth is sticking somewhere in my throat ‘Cause my words will fall Straight on your deaf ears I’m on a roll Behind the veil I feel so cold and pale Can’t set the pain free, can’t take it away Drained and so frail When my painkillers fail The fakes and the lies make my whole life a decay I can never ever be an asshole for some motherfucker I’m getting sick, and the trick is not to become that weak Crawl! Sometimes we all got nothing to melt with and so we Fall! To where we’re called to forget the fucking cold I know you’re always there To come in and cum in my face I swear I don’t care If you got a time to waste I don’t need this bullshit I don’t want this bullshit I can’t stand this bullshit I thought I had love but that was a pure shit Do you give a fuck ‘bout what I feel today Your features abate due to your cock that you celebrate The endorphin makes me high when making love is thin But when it fades away the pain is to win Why?! I’m not getting obscene by and by. Painkillers fail Lie! Through pain I disdain ‘n’ be the same. Cold and frail Cry! Why can I yet deny and defy this shit? Female Fly! Nowhere to run so I try not to die! Don’t fail Now I’m scarcely able to emote Watching you all You fake-loving numb-hearts Truth is sticking somewhere in my throat ‘Cause my words will fall Straight on your deaf ears I’m on a roll I’m all alone and frail. Painkillers fail I’m watching the progress of my calamity So drained and pale. Painkillers fail They tell me that’s life. I feel like I’m Killed behind my veil. Painkillers fail I bet there is no-one to pull me out No reasons to cry and wail. Painkillers fail They tell me that’s life! Oh, fuck it all but that’s life That’s life That’s life That’s life
11.
First you were a handsome and worthy youth Then you grew up and became a guy, a super cool guy Always so eager to fight for truth You became a soldier and went to war, to war for money And now you’re shooting And now you’re killing Them for your Fake democracy And they’re defending Their ground and hating You and your army Fighting for money What is your fee, is that a lot Isn’t it true, you’ve got the rot How much you get, how much you got You’re simply bought, you’ve got the rot What is your fee, is that a lot Isn’t it true, you’ve got the rot How much you get, how much you got You’re simply bought, you’ve got the rot First you conform to your ego shit Then you agree to your country’s laws and fucking system When there’s no coke you’re struck by a fit When there’s no pizza, no whores, no Mickey Mice you collapse And now you’re shooting And now you’re killing Them for your Fake democracy And they’re defending Their ground and hating You and your army Fighting for money Now you’re wounded in a vital spot Is it worth dying right now for the ideals you’ve got Do you feel like a hero or not Raping and killing and trusting your god The truth is nobody gives a fuck about You and your enemies, all go to cemeteries Are you happy now, catching your breath Counting your money and facing your death Were you ready to die? You fucking tremble and bitch and say “Why?” This is your final sick piss You are the guilty, your ass you may kiss Where is the prize you have won? The shit that you did is the bullshit you’ve done You lose, stupid cocksucker Die, motherfucker ‘Cause you were shooting And you were killing Them for your Fake democracy They’re yet defending Their ground and hating You and your army Fighting for money Goddamn! You raped them Goddamn! You killed them Fucked them with Your democracy They’re yet defending And will be hating All of you, fuckers You, coward cocksuckers You were sold out and bought Fuck yourself! ‘Cause you’ve got the rot You know that was your fault Now you’re shot down and growing cold Die! You were sold out and bought Die! Fuck yourself! ‘Cause you’ve got the rot Die! You know that was your fault Die! Now you’re shot down and growing cold You’ve got the rot Die, bastard
12.
No shame, no pain I’m a captive of someone Heart beats in vain He’s raping me the deeper the more bitter Insane, I complain Lying face down and counting Every bloodstain Every slide in me that gives me life No name, no blame Not existing, but feeling Can’t claim, obtain Any warmth or light to make it sweeter Dark’s slain my brain Disconnected from myself I feel his tame When we’re plugged together I’m alive I’m alive when he’s in Enter me I’m alive when he’s in Enter me It’s like a hi-fi connection It’s like a Wi-Fi injection It’s like there’s no other life He wants to make me his Wife. I can’t die I can’t die I can’t die I can’t die! Release me Wife. I can’t die Wife! I can’t die Wife! I can’t die I can’t die! Release me Oh, my god, don’t forget me My beliefs they had left me Oh, my god, you forgot me Did you really abort me? Oh, my god, don’t forget me My beliefs they had left me Oh, my god, you forgot me Did you really abort me? Oh, my god, don’t forget me Oh, my god, don’t forget me He raped me then you forgot Please, deny that Can’t believe that Tears burn holes in my breasts I’m ripped, raped, dripping out Not heard, too stressed to rest Don’t want to live, can’t die
13.
I'm Ok 05:20
I’m ok, I’m ok Shit Here we go I slept all night in the Shadow Of The Valley Of Death Next day I felt so thalidomide I lost my breath Malicious pain tabs my eyes Carving shapes in my heart Tears rain them life so I’m ripped apart Sometimes the Fall shines like the Spring I’m all calamities so enjoy my antics Sometimes I waded while wept but wiped my weeps with whips and lips I can feel my features are filled with what I can’t fix Don’t bother about me Don’t care I’m ok! Don’t bother about me Don’t worry Sure I’m ok! Expected a breakdown? Gonna bitch? Gonna fuck you when you get in my reach! Shut up! I’m big with your poison Damn! Been unprotected, got pregnant. Goddamn itch Your cum comes every blind night Like it or not but I’ll give birth to lots Of sickening and aching creatures I never can hold God! My inside is cold I was fucked all night in the Shadow Of the Valley of Death When morning came I checked out that I’m perfectly deaf All I could hear was the movement of something in me Intoxicating me gradually Sometimes the Fall shines like the Spring I’m all calamities so enjoy my antics Sometimes I waded while wept but wiped my weeps with whips and lips I can feel my features are filled with what I can’t fix Don’t bother about me! Don’t care I’m ok! Don’t bother about me! Don’t worry Sure I’m ok! Shit! I’ve got a problem I can’t resolve Make the bullshit dissolve Goddamn the Spring shine it’s bitterer than Fall Gimme a drug make me a Barby-doll Shit! I’ve got a problem I can’t resolve Make the bullshit dissolve! Goddamn the Spring shine it’s bitter than Fall Gimme a drug make me a Barby-doll I’m too tired I wanna be numb Make me a Barby-doll! I’m too fucked I wanna be dumb Make me a Barby-doll! Tightened my eyes Make me a Barby-doll! Lost all my frights Make me a Barby-doll! Don’t worry much for me. Why do I deserve such a lie Don’t ever care for me. You laugh while I die! Don’t ever dare to be. Drop the fuck, stop, I’m alive! When you attempt to be. With me I’m ok! In the Shadow of the Valley of Death I’ll survive! In the Shadow of the Valley of Death I’m ok! In the Shadow of the Valley of Death I’m ok I’m ok I’m ok I’m ok Don’t bother about me You don’t care So don’t dare Don’t bother about me Don’t disturb me With your empathy Don’t bother about me You don’t care So don’t dare Don’t bother about me Don’t disturb me With your empathy I’m ok I’m ok
14.
I had a dream last night I slept and I dreamed I was in a certain place crowded with lots and lots of people A strange scent of silent violence hang all around, the calm queer figures rooted to the ground Motionless and vacant like they where some hunted kind of humanoid statues A product of some evil mind, a released desire for a mass domination, cruel and enthralling Some people bled, some smiled instead All of them looked like they felt fixed though thoroughly flattered Powerless but in a state of perfect happiness A motionless greasy foam frozen and drained of life an instant ago People formed weird packs and rows, circles and rectangles Their heads shaven and turned down Faces hidden in shadows As I walked among them I felt a chill of misery rising in me Mixed with despite and primeval hate and fear I watched them in the eye but found nothing there No shame, no strain, no name, no blame, no pain No trace of life, no evidence of it And then I caught sight of something peculiar and astounding On the back of each head was a number shaven out No doubt, the work was done with one stable hand All the curves, and straights were similar on every head Holy shit! That was fucking kickass I stood there in the cool of the night and shivered I was alone among all of them, alone in a world of serial numbers Listed thoughts and programmed lives Was it life at all I woke up to the sound of voices Ringing all around of me I walked out for an answer To my dream I waded in the daylight Watching people close in front of me Trying to find an answer To my dream But there were no signs of any numbers shaved out on the back of their heads All of them looked equally healthy busy, alive and most natural I was about giving up, but then a slight suspicion crawled into me And once I watched them in the eye the answer struck me all of a sudden Making my every nerve tense and gnaw Every one of them was encoded, a serial number Imprinted deep in each brain, in each mind In each soul. And then I asked myself, was it God's providence or their own choice And that was the hardest question Have you got a serial number No Do you want a serial number Yes I watched several million Cowards wait for me Blind-faith children Of their fright and apathy Every one of them Had neither wish, nor will Save an itchy crap That makes them bitch and kneel I’m your new mistress I’m your new god I’m your true savior The one that you want Slow-minded Delighted You’ve chosen your way I mind it And find it Ultimate this day Once you took your choice Don’t ever hesitate Got but half an hour To make you liberate Cut your dirty hearts And spit them out for me I’ll encode you With a brand new liberty Follow me To begin, get rid of your mythology I give you mine ‘cause it suits you well Finally, I give you a hundred thousand guarantees That every one of you, pussy whips, get all your fucking happiness I’m your new mistress I’m your new god I’m your true savior The one that you want Slow-minded Delighted You’ve chosen your way I mind it And find it Ultimate this day Follow me Was that my bitter mission Oh, my god, I wish you’d Never chose me To run this weird experiment The genius surreality Of this seriality’s In a number of sequences Provoking the sicknesses They can’t feel But it’s like a hepatitis The system includes this bug And they’re all born and bred to fit this Here they are! They killed the Bradbury’s Martians Globalized and unified their lives Closed them in margins Follow me I’ll clean up your minds Follow me You’ve got nothing to bother about from now on Follow me Inhale the irony Follow me Into the chains of your reality Follow me Cause you can’t exist anywhere else Follow me Everything’s to be in its right place Follow me Need more illusions? You’ll get them Follow me Get your serial numbers and lives and spent them I’m your new mistress! be stable ever after I’m your new god! be stupid ever after I’m your true savior! be fucking ever after The one that you want! take this shit I’m your new mistress! be serial ever after I’m your new god! be quite ever after I’m your true savior! be happy ever after The one that you want! take this shit
15.
Hush-a-bye, baby Close your blue eyes Hush-a-bye, baby You’re unaware Of what you shall bear Hush-a-bye, baby Time will come, I’ll be gone Hush-a-bye baby Time will come, you’ll be gone Hush-a-bye, baby Close your grey eyes Hush-a-bye, baby Life’s an affair Sleep while you have care Hush-a-bye, baby Time will come, we’ll be gone Hush-a-bye, baby We’ll be gone, then we’ll come Hush-a-bye, baby Close your brown eyes Hush-a-bye, baby You’ve got your life Dream while there’s no strive Hush-a-bye, baby Happy till then Hush-a-bye, baby Dream while you can Nobody knows when Time will come, I’ll be gone Time will come, you’ll be gone Time will come, we’ll be gone No one knows when we’ll come

about

“When Painkillers Fail (T-Lilith Archive, Vol. 1)” is a nu metal/death metal/groove/electronic metal album that was originally written and produced in 2007-08. It was remastered and released on December 14th, 2018.

The release of the original unmastered album (as it was recorded in 2007-08) took place on Jamendo on July 29th, 2010.

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released December 14, 2018

Catherine Corelli - writer, composer, vocals, programming, mixing, mastering

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Catherine Corelli Jeffersonville, Kentucky

singer-songwriter, producer, painter. Russian born American southerner.

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